Showing posts with label tanning beds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tanning beds. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Earth Angels

 I don't even know their names. They were just two women camped out in the visitor lounge outside the palliative care unit of our local hospital. I would learn that they were sisters and that their mother was in the room next to my daughter Jaime's. Jaime, after being diagnosed 9 years earlier, at age 20, with melanoma caused by her tanning bed use, had been a "guest" of this hospital for 5 weeks, and within a couple hours, she would leave us and her pain and suffering behind.

I had left Jaime's bedside for a short break. I went to the lounge and curled up in a recliner, physically and mentally exhausted, with my world taking a deep dive into the darkness that only a mother who has lost their child can know. 

My husband came in and gently asked -- "Are you okay?" I snapped back out of my fog with the fury of an injured wild animal -- "My daughter is dying, and you ask me if I'm okay???" My husband, who needed consoling himself, was just lost in my anger and couldn't respond.

Then, as if it had been choreographed and rehearsed to perfection, those two women pulled up chairs on each side of me and took my hands in theirs. One told me the story of how her teenage son was in a horrible auto accident and died in her arms. She told me how painful this was going to be for me; she told me that I would want to die every minute of every day for a very long time. And she told me that it would be the most painful thing I would ever face but that I would survive. She was right about everything.

I returned to Jaime's room, knowing that what was about to happen would be the best thing for my little girl but would rip my heart right out of my body. A few minutes later, the nurse came in with a small stuffed lamb that she said the women next door wanted me to have. 



Such a loving gesture ... one that had even more meaning to me than they could ever know. Years before that, Jaime's nephew, my grandson, had died when he was a week old. I had put a little stuffed lamb in his casket with his tiny body. And here I was once again clutching a little lamb for comfort.

You might think all this is coincidence, or fate, or an accident, or maybe pure chance ... but I believe it was more than that. I think people are sometimes put into our lives for a specific reason. I don't know how this happens, but it just does. I am so grateful to those two strangers and have thought about them often over the years. We had a bond, a special moment in time, and I don't even know their names. But I call them "Earth Angels."

 

 Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations) 

 http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Life Interrupted, 10 Years Later

Life has its ups and downs. You buy a new car and then have a fender bender; you graduate from college and then it seems like forever to get a job; you find the love of your life and then you discover that he/she is not your soulmate after all.

But imagine that your life involved climbing up the slope of a steep cliff with someone you love more than life itself, some times dragging them and some times being dragged by them and some times carrying them on your back ... only to reach the top and step over the edge into a free fall, losing your grasp on your loved one along the way.

That is kind of the way it feels to lose a child to cancer. And I've been in a free fall for the past 10 years.

My daughter Jaime was 20 when we heard those terrifying 3 words "you have cancer." It was also the first time we had ever heard the word "melanoma." She had been diagnosed with melanoma, an often-fatal form of skin cancer, caused by her love of tanning beds since about age 14. But everyone said "she was too young for cancer" -- and "she didn't look like a cancer patient" -- and "it was just skin cancer, right?" WRONG!

It's been 10 years this week since Jaime took her last breathe, and I feel I should have something important to share. I feel like I should have encouragement for those mothers who are also grieving but not as far down the road as I am. I feel like I should have some answers to all the questions that all of us angel moms ask. But I don't.

I hate to tell you, but it does not get easier; it just gets different. The grieving continues, but you do get better at wearing your mask, the one you put on whenever you are not alone. The unimaginable pain is chronic, but you somehow get used to carrying it and it is not as raw or heavy.

You will never be the same person you were before. Your life has been divided into your life with your son or daughter and your life after having them ripped from your arms. My "post-angel wings" life now is nothing like it was when Jaime was alive. As I said, I'm in free fall.

Ten years has been an agonizingly long time to be without my child and best friend ... honestly, much longer than I ever hoped I would be separated from her ... and at the same time, it seems like it was just yesterday that she came through the front door yelling "Mom." Jaime was always the center of attention and I was her shadow. Now I am just a shadow looking for its missing object.

That doesn't mean that my life has no meaning or direction. I still have a husband and 2 sons that I love with all my heart, but my direction has only come from a little voice whispering in my ear, giving me passion and commitment to fight the tanning beds that took my baby girl.

One thing I have learned in the past 10 years is that life is not fair. Growing up, my mom always would tell me that because I was such a bleeding heart. But now that I'm here and Jaime is not, I do believe that my mom was right. It's really not fair -- not fair at all! And don't assume that because you have gone through the unthinkable, nothing else bad will happen. You think you have paid your dues, but life just keeps happening.

Then there is the tremendous guilt. She was my child and I should have
been able to protect her. I should have been able to fix her. I've always been a fixer, but not this time. Why not this time? Then there was the guilt that I was not the same wife I had been before Jaime's death, and not the same mother. I realized how badly my family wanted me to be the same ... but that Donna was no longer here. She had died with Jaime. The guilt has been suffocating!

For the first couple years I had a never-ending loop running in my head of all the events leading up to Jaime's death. All the second guessing; all the what ifs; all the searching for answers when I wasn't even sure what the questions were ... playing it over & over & over. I finally came to realize that no matter what I had done or hadn't done, the final result would be the same. And as weird as it sounds, I haven't worn a watch or carried a purse since the day Jaime died and I have no idea why that is. I've just learned to accept that not everything has an answer, at least not one I understand.

At the beginning of my grief, I heard all the comments from people who mean well but just don't know what to say -- "she's in a better place," "it was God's plan," "at least she is free of pain," "I understand your pain because my grandmother died," etc. FYI: The best thing you can say to a grieving mom is "I'm sorry," "I love you," " He/she (and use their name!) will never be forgotten," or a story about the son or daughter, or even just a hug.

It was 3 years before I could look at Jaime's photos. And then it was not because I wanted to but because I was forced to as part of the video presentation on tanning beds that I had agreed to do. It was so very painful to dig through all the pictures from a better time, a happy time, but I did so with a lot of tears. The nightmarish memories from Jaime's death were just beginning to let the happy memories of her life come forward.

Somewhere along the way, I learned to recognize the warning signs that I was sliding into that deep dark hole of extreme grief and despair (you angel moms all know the place I am talking about) and eventually gained the strength to not allow my mind to take me there. The climb out was extremely exhausting. If you haven't been there, it's not someplace you ever want to visit.

It took me several years to feel comfortable about going out socially. Small talk scared the crap out of me. The question I feared most was the pleasant, simple "How many children do you have?" And if I got through that one without breaking down, there was usually the innocent follow-up "And where do they live?" I was also aware that people who knew about Jaime's death felt uncomfortable around me, like I had a contagious disease, and they were afraid of doing or saying something to cause me pain. Let me assure you that I was already in more pain than you can imagine. You couldn't make it any worse -- unless you tried to ignore or avoid it.

About 5 years after Jaime's death, I began to smile again and really mean it. It would be almost 10 years before I would hear myself laugh -- not a tears-running-down-your-face, pee-running-down-your-leg laugh like Jaime could provoke, but it was a laugh. And it was such a strange sound coming from me after so long that it actually startled me!

Ten years out and I can finally tell Jaime's story without sobbing ... at least some of the time. I don't think it will get much better, but I will not stop talking about how her use of tanning beds took her life at 29 because the killing has got to stop. Melanoma is a cancer that, in many cases, can be prevented ... and it must be prevented. I have a mission. I did not choose it but I have it. Some of the time I don't even like it but I have it. And I will continue on that mission until that little voice in my ear leads me in a different direction.




Ten years out ... and I can't tell you everything is fine or back to normal (whatever that is) or that the road of grief is behind me. I still find it hard to imagine that she is really dead. But I can tell you that, even after 10 years, Jaime hasn't left my heart or my side. I may be in free fall, but she is right there with me. That I do know.



Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Friday, January 6, 2017

When Angels Speak

When my 29-year-old daughter Jaime died from melanoma (caused by her tanning bed habit), people told me to watch for signs from her. I was skeptical, as I'm sure that many of you reading this are, but in the almost 10 years since her death, I have seen enough to make me a believer. At some point, you don't question -- you just listen when angels speak!

I'm not sure when I stopped trying to logically explain unusual events and just accepted that my Jaime was the responsible party. Perhaps it was when I put a bouquet of flowers in the vase of her headstone. Yes, I did notice that there was one white carnation in it, and yes, I did know that Jaime hated carnations, but I didn't think it would matter. The next day when we returned to her grave, the flower arrangement was untouched ... except that the white carnation was lying on the ground and had been flattened.

Or perhaps it was when her dad and I and her brother Tim were sitting in our backyard, and we were joined by hundreds of beautiful butterflies. Or maybe it was when I was filming a PSA about Jaime and the dangers of tanning when a strange tapping on the glass behind me stopped everything, which turned out to be a dog that wasn't even supposed to be there. Or could it have been when our front yard was covered with little white feathers and the neighbors' yards had none?



And the list goes on and on and on ...






Most recently, my husband and I were visiting Las Vegas and were in a hotel lobby. Now before going any further with this story, I need to give you some background. Jaime had a little blonde chihuahua named Peanut. She had rescued Peanut from a puppy mill, and they adored each other.


Okay, back to my story! Into the lobby walks a young couple with a little blonde chihuahua prancing along on a leash. The instant the puppy spotted me she dropped to her belly and scooted across the lobby floor until she reached my feet, never losing eye contact with me. She then stopped and just looked up at me. The young couple was baffled by their dog's behavior, saying that she had never done this before. I leaned over and petted her head ... and then poof, the magic was over. She just got up and trotted away without looking back. I knew what was happening and so did my husband, and we could only smile at each other and softly whisper "Jaime."

Now perhaps you are thinking that this was just some bizarre dog behavior and had nothing to do with a sign from beyond, and I get that. But in the past 10 years, bizarre events seems to be attracted to me, so I know that little puppy was delivering a message from my very special angel ... that she was thinking of me and loved me and that there was no way I was going to do Vegas without her!

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Giant Hug (aka Melanoma Patient Symposium)

As soon as my husband and I stepped foot off the plane from Dallas at Newark New Jersey Airport, I knew I was in trouble. My eyes began that now familiar feeling of a waterfall starting to cascade down over my cheeks.

This was the first time I had been to New Jersey in 10 years ... and the first I had ever been there without my best friend and precious daughter Jaime, who died at age 29 after a 9-year battle with melanoma. So many times I had walked through that terminal shadowing our princess and pulling our bags ... but not this time.

What had I gotten myself into when I agreed to speak at the AIM at Melanoma/Atlantic Health System patient symposium in Morristown? Why didn't
I think about it for longer than 2 seconds when Dr. Eric Whitman, Jaime's melanoma specialist for 5 years, asked me to tell Jaime's story and update the audience on the ongoing battle with the indoor tanning industry? Really ... what was I thinking???

Well, I did have a few moments of being a blubbering idiot, but then I felt Jaime's presence and the love that everyone there still had for her and I knew that I belonged there. It had been 10 years but Jaime had not been forgotten, and I realized that even though she couldn't speak herself, she was speaking through me (although I did censor some of her more favorite 4-letter words!).

So even though public speaking is not really my thing, I put on my big girl panties and did what I was asked to do ... what I needed to do ... and that was to spread awareness about the dangers of tanning bed use so that maybe ... just maybe ... someone would be spared from losing their Jaime. 

I entered into this as a rookie. I had not attended a patient symposium before and frankly thought they sounded stuffy, with a lot of technical/medical terms that I might recognize but certainly couldn't understand. After all, I had failed my college biochemistry course so it doesn't take much to put me into anxiety mode!

To my surprise, the doctors who presented (Dr. Whitman and Dr. Bickenbach) brought the information down to a layman's level, and I was totally fascinated with what I heard. As I mentioned, Dr. Whitman was Jaime's wonderful melanoma specialist and now Director of the Atlantic Melanoma Center and the Carol G. Simon Cancer Center at Morristown NJ Medical Center. Dr. Bickenbach is a surgical oncologist there and the new (really cute!) kid on the block. You need to remember his name because I'm pretty sure you will be hearing lots more about him in the future.

But my main take-home point (term I learned from the symposium!) was that the auditorium was just bursting with love and compassion and hope. My first thought was that it wasn't just a symposium ... it was a giant hug.

The doctors were both very approachable and made everyone feel comfortable and welcome. The patient panel told stories of their difficult roads to survival, and all showed such gratitude and admiration for the two amazing doctors who had helped them along the way.

I know, I know ... it all sounds so warm and fuzzy. Well, it was! And in the world of melanoma, warm and fuzzy just doesn't come along that often, so it was most welcome.

So as I reflect back over my trepidation upon our arrival in New Jersey, I realize that I needed that giant hug ... to be around people who understood what Jaime had gone through, people who had loved and cared for her so many years ago, people who wanted to hear the message about melanoma prevention by staying out of tanning beds.

Thank you, Dr. Whitman, for asking me (and Jaime) to be part of such a wonderful event ... and thank you, sweet Jaime, for being by my side the whole time.



See all videos from the symposium at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOnM_erAQqID5av4kIzM1PkeCoNLYZfw1


Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna) 
 
Twitter: @melanoma_mama
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
Ebay: http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Friday, May 29, 2015

Birth of an Anti-Tanning Bed Grassroots Movement

Previously published on May 21, 2015, at http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/




Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.



My Jaime's story gave me the passion and conviction to become "the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare." The day after Jaime's funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.

 

I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed ... but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime's story for both of these laws.



As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety ... but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.



It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost
1,900 members [in 2021, close to 4,100]. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that "glow" for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.


There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons' Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising "self-harm," which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.



Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 [now 300+] colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. [Dr. Sherry Pagoto, who did the original research on this topic for the University of Massachusetts, is providing guidance.] We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.



Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!



Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

Twitter: @melanoma_mama
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)

http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
Ebay: http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Road to Destruction ... of Tanning Beds

It's no secret ... I've been waging a war against the indoor tanning industry for many years now, ever since my daughter Jaime died at age 29 from melanoma brought on by years of tanning bed use in high school and college. How did that war begin, you ask? Read on ...


It started out as a very bumpy, winding road. The week we buried Jaime,
I began writing letters to newspapers about the dangers of tanning beds and contacted my state legislators about introducing legislation that would restrict minors' use of these killers (but to no avail). I had the passion, I had the time, I had the story, and I had the anger.

Don't get me wrong. I was not looking for something to blame for Jaime's death. She would often say, "I did this to myself." And she did. Her melanoma (although not everyone's) could have been prevented if she hadn't had an obsession to turn her very pale skin into a shade more similar to cafe au lait. So I don't blame the tanning industry for this horrific hole in my heart ... but they are partly responsible by providing a harmful product.

When Jaime was using tanning beds, no one really knew how dangerous (and deadly) they were. The Center for Disease Control now says, "Tanning beds are one of the few industries whose product, if used as the manufacturer intends, puts the user at risk of harm." I won't get into the dangers of tanning bed use here because you can read about that in my other blogs, particularly Spring: The Teen Tanning Season.

Suddenly, the road took a different turn. Because I was so vocal on the risks of tanning beds (and this was when Facebook was just in its infancy), the American Academy of Dermatology asked me to make a Public Service Announcement video based on Jaime's story. This was when the Academy and I had a good working relationship, prior to their failed insensitive attempt to change melanoma's awareness ribbon from black to orange. Read Social Media and the Black Ribbon and Promises Made Are Not Necessarily Promises Kept for more on that story.

Following that, I was apparently targeted by the indoor tanning industry in a sting operation that failed, but I only learned of this recently: I Was A Paid Shill for the Tanning Industry. I was getting under their over-baked skin and had struck a nerve, it seems!

Jaime's story, along with that of many other tanning bed victims, has been used to pass under 18 teen tan ban bills in many states, including our home state of Texas (first for an under 16 ban and finally, with my testimony in both House and Senate committees, for an under 18 ban).  The only bad part is that because of all my correspondence with state senators and representatives across the country about tanning bed legislation, I am now on ALL of their newsletters ... thousands of newsletters!

You will often see my posts in the comments sections of online newspaper & magazine articles. I have been told by the opposition that Jaime never had skin cancer or that Jaime is just a figment of my overactive imagination. Really??? Do they think their lies and personal attacks will make me stop? No, they just motivate me even more!

Jaime's story of tanning bed use and melanoma has been told in newspapers, magazines, TV news, and online for over 15 years now. Actually, one newspaper did decide not to print our interview because the reporter thought Jaime's story was too well known (OLD news) ... that was just a seldom-read little tabloid called the New York Times! Others have also stepped forward to tell their stories of tanning bed use and abuse. I hope it is all making a difference. Whether it is or not, I'm not done trying!

Her story was one presented many years ago at hearings of an FDA panel for tighter restriction of tanning beds, and recently we have seen them act on those recommendations. With the US Surgeon General joining our cries against tanning beds, the road to destruction of tanning beds is getting smoother and straighter, soon to be a superhighway!

For years I have watched as the Facebook melanoma community found each other and then broke away into smaller, more specific groups -- for support, for sun safety, for melanoma, for skin cancer -- but nothing solely for indoor tanning. So last December I started the group Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds, which now has over 1,860 like-minds [over 3,600 in 2018] who want to create awareness about the pain and suffering that tanning beds create. The story of what I have discovered through Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds will be my next blog [see Birth of an Anti-Tanning Bed Grassroots Movement].

Many years ago I proclaimed myself to be the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare, and I believe that I have lived up to that title. The bad news is that there is so much more work to be done, and the more I dig into this industry, the more dirt I find. The good news is, however, that I have found more friends who are also royal pains in the tanning industry's butt ... and together we are getting even LOUDER!!




Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)