When Angels Speak

When my 29-year-old daughter Jaime died from melanoma (caused by her tanning bed habit), people told me to watch for signs from her. I was skeptical, as I'm sure that many of you reading this are, but in the almost 10 years since her death, I have seen enough to make me a believer. At some point, you don't question -- you just listen when angels speak!

I'm not sure when I stopped trying to logically explain unusual events and just accepted that my Jaime was the responsible party. Perhaps it was when I put a bouquet of flowers in the vase of her headstone. Yes, I did notice that there was one white carnation in it, and yes, I did know that Jaime hated carnations, but I didn't think it would matter. The next day when we returned to her grave, the flower arrangement was untouched ... except that the white carnation was lying on the ground and had been flattened.

Or perhaps it was when her dad and I and her brother Tim were sitting in our backyard, and we were joined by hundreds of beautiful butterflies. Or maybe it was when I was filming a PSA about Jaime and the dangers of tanning when a strange tapping on the glass behind me stopped everything, which turned out to be a dog that wasn't even supposed to be there. Or could it have been when our front yard was covered with little white feathers and the neighbors' yards had none?



And the list goes on and on and on ...






Most recently, my husband and I were visiting Las Vegas and were in a hotel lobby. Now before going any further with this story, I need to give you some background. Jaime had a little blonde chihuahua named Peanut. She had rescued Peanut from a puppy mill, and they adored each other.

Okay, back to my story! Into the lobby walks a young couple with a little blonde chihuahua prancing along on a leash. The instant the puppy spotted me she dropped to her belly and scooted across the lobby floor until she reached my feet, never losing eye contact with me. She then stopped and just looked up at me. The young couple was baffled by their dog's behavior, saying that she had never done this before. I leaned over and petted her head ... and then poof, the magic was over. She just got up and trotted away without looking back. I knew what was happening and so did my husband, and we could only smile at each other and softly whisper "Jaime."

Now perhaps you are thinking that this was just some bizarre dog behavior and had nothing to do with a sign from beyond, and I get that. But in the past 10 years, bizarre events seems to be attracted to me, so I know that little puppy was delivering a message from my very special angel ... that she was thinking of me and loved me and that there was no way I was going to do Vegas without her!

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)

http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Road to Destruction ... of Tanning Beds

It's no secret ... I've been waging a war against the indoor tanning industry for many years now, ever since my daughter Jaime died at age 29 from melanoma brought on by years of tanning bed use in high school and college. How did that war begin, you ask? Read on ...

It started out as a very bumpy, winding road. The week we buried Jaime,

I began writing letters to newspapers about the dangers of tanning beds and contacted my state legislators about introducing legislation that would restrict minors' use of these killers (but to no avail). I had the passion, I had the time, I had the story, and I had the anger.

Don't get me wrong. I was not looking for something to blame for Jaime's death. She would often say, "I did this to myself." And she did. Her melanoma (although not everyone's) could have been prevented if she hadn't had an obsession to turn her very pale skin into a shade more similar to cafe au lait. So I don't blame the tanning industry for this horrific hole in my heart ... but they are partly responsible by providing a harmful product.

When Jaime was using tanning beds, no one really knew how dangerous (and deadly) they were. The Center for Disease Control now says, "Tanning beds are one of the few industries whose product, if used as the manufacturer intends, puts the user at risk of harm." I won't get into the dangers of tanning bed use here because you can read about that in my other blogs, particularly Spring: The Teen Tanning Season.

Suddenly, the road took a different turn. Because I was so vocal on the risks of tanning beds (and this was when Facebook was just in its infancy), the American Academy of Dermatology asked me to make a Public Service Announcement video based on Jaime's story. This was when the Academy and I had a good working relationship, prior to their failed insensitive attempt to change melanoma's awareness ribbon from black to orange. Read Social Media and the Black Ribbon and Promises Made Are Not Necessarily Promises Kept for more on that story.

Following that, I was apparently targeted by the indoor tanning industry in a sting operation that failed, but I only learned of this recently: I Was A Paid Shill for the Tanning Industry. I was getting under their over-baked skin and had struck a nerve, it seems!

Jaime's story, along with that of many other tanning bed victims, has been used to pass under 18 teen tan ban bills in many states, including our home state of Texas (first for an under 16 ban and finally, with my testimony in both House and Senate committees, for an under 18 ban).  The only bad part is that because of all my correspondence with state senators and representatives across the country about tanning bed legislation, I am now on ALL of their newsletters ... thousands of newsletters!

You will often see my posts in the comments sections of online newspaper & magazine articles. I have been told by the opposition that Jaime never had skin cancer or that Jaime is just a figment of my overactive imagination. Really??? Do they think their lies and personal attacks will make me stop? No, they just motivate me even more!

Jaime's story of tanning bed use and melanoma has been told in newspapers, magazines, TV news, and online for over 15 years now. Actually, one newspaper did decide not to print our interview because the reporter thought Jaime's story was too well known (OLD news) ... that was just a seldom-read little tabloid called the New York Times! Others have also stepped forward to tell their stories of tanning bed use and abuse. I hope it is all making a difference. Whether it is or not, I'm not done trying!

Her story was one presented many years ago at hearings of an FDA panel for tighter restriction of tanning beds, and recently we have seen them act on those recommendations. With the US Surgeon General joining our cries against tanning beds, the road to destruction of tanning beds is getting smoother and straighter, soon to be a superhighway!

For years I have watched as the Facebook melanoma community found each other and then broke away into smaller, more specific groups -- for support, for sun safety, for melanoma, for skin cancer -- but nothing solely for indoor tanning. So last December I started the group Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds, which now has over 1,860 like-minds [over 3,600 in 2018] who want to create awareness about the pain and suffering that tanning beds create. The story of what I have discovered through Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds will be my next blog [see Birth of an Anti-Tanning Bed Grassroots Movement].

Many years ago I proclaimed myself to be the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare, and I believe that I have lived up to that title. The bad news is that there is so much more work to be done, and the more I dig into this industry, the more dirt I find. The good news is, however, that I have found more friends who are also royal pains in the tanning industry's butt ... and together we are getting even LOUDER!!

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Melanoma May: Paint It Black!

It's May!! A beautiful month, marking the end of Spring and giving us hints of Summer. It starts with May Day, rounds out with Memorial Day, and has Mother's Day planted in between. (For a lot of reasons, Mother's Day is not one of my favorite holidays ... but that's another blog all on its own.) May is filled with end of school years and graduations, saying good-byes and looking ahead to new beginnings. It is the month where the cool temps of Spring start to warm, reminding us that the heat of Summer is not far behind. It is bursting with vivid blankets of brightly colored flowers, and ... Achoo! did I mention pollen? May has something for everyone.



So why do I want to see the merry month of May painted black? Because May is Melanoma Awareness Month, and black is the awareness color associated with this evil disease. Melanoma is an often fatal form of skin cancer that seems to have a mind of its own. Melanoma is not full of hope like the month of May, although with new treatment options, hope is shining brighter. It is a disease that is dark, deadly, and foreboding, and unlike other cancers, the cases of melanoma are increasing. And it can, in many cases, be prevented. Melanoma needs to be stopped. Too many hearts have already been broken; too many lives have been shattered.

Although May is shared by many other diseases/disorders as an awareness month, it is melanoma that will get my support this May, as it does every month. You may or may not know that my daughter Jaime lost her life to melanoma when she was 29, so I have a very personal reason for giving this disease all my energy, time, and anger and for wearing the black ribbon to honor, remember, and respect my baby girl during May. She was diagnosed when she was 20 years old, back in 1998. Melanoma has progressed since that time from a disease I, and most people, had never heard of to one that is often in the news. I would love to see black as prominent during May as pink is during October for breast cancer awareness.


Jaime and I used to wait eagerly for her melanoma specialist to return from cancer conventions to learn of any new treatments ... but he was always empty handed. I know that he hated facing us with the same results from the previous years. The look on his face told us without him speaking that there was nothing new or nothing even close to being new. Now melanoma treatments are the highlights of those conventions, but it took a very long time ... too long for Jaime.

At one melanoma walk shortly after Jaime's death, I was asked if I was a survivor (they had special t-shirts for survivors). Without much thought, I said yes. I had fought that damn disease with every breath I had along side my brave daughter ... and yes, I did feel like I had survived even though Jaime did not. It certainly did not seem fair at all, but I had survived whether I wanted to or not. In the process though, I had lost my heart and my life as I had known it. My sons had lost the mother they once had. I was no longer me, thanks to melanoma. And I know that way too many of you reading this understand what I am saying. We MUST work harder to educate and advocate so that others will be spared the pain and anguish that we live with daily.

Your best chance of beating melanoma is not getting it in the first place! So you will be hearing lots more from me this month about melanoma, particularly on Melanoma Monday (May 5 in 2014). I will be sharing facts about melanoma, risk factors, prevention, and detection and information on the other more common forms of skin cancer. Why? Because you need to be armed with information to protect your family and yourselves. Melanoma is unforgiving ... it has no cure. Once melanoma has touched you, it is for life. The fear of a recurrence and the pain of surgeries and treatments involved ... or the fear of it ending your life ... never goes away. Melanoma never goes away!

Melanoma May ... to create awareness, to educate, to honor & remember

So as we focus our attention on the beautiful month of May and all it has to offer us, please support melanoma awareness and/or donate to melanoma research. Matter of fact, don't just support it in May ... it needs your support, your attention, your donations all year round.

For comprehensive information on melanoma, visit www.AIMatMelanoma.org

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)