Showing posts with label anti-tanning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anti-tanning. Show all posts

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Life Interrupted, 10 Years Later

Life has its ups and downs. You buy a new car and then have a fender bender; you graduate from college and then it seems like forever to get a job; you find the love of your life and then you discover that he/she is not your soulmate after all.

But imagine that your life involved climbing up the slope of a steep cliff with someone you love more than life itself, some times dragging them and some times being dragged by them and some times carrying them on your back ... only to reach the top and step over the edge into a free fall, losing your grasp on your loved one along the way.

That is kind of the way it feels to lose a child to cancer. And I've been in a free fall for the past 10 years.

My daughter Jaime was 20 when we heard those terrifying 3 words "you have cancer." It was also the first time we had ever heard the word "melanoma." She had been diagnosed with melanoma, an often-fatal form of skin cancer, caused by her love of tanning beds since about age 14. But everyone said "she was too young for cancer" -- and "she didn't look like a cancer patient" -- and "it was just skin cancer, right?" WRONG!

It's been 10 years this week since Jaime took her last breathe, and I feel I should have something important to share. I feel like I should have encouragement for those mothers who are also grieving but not as far down the road as I am. I feel like I should have some answers to all the questions that all of us angel moms ask. But I don't.

I hate to tell you, but it does not get easier; it just gets different. The grieving continues, but you do get better at wearing your mask, the one you put on whenever you are not alone. The unimaginable pain is chronic, but you somehow get used to carrying it and it is not as raw or heavy.

You will never be the same person you were before. Your life has been divided into your life with your son or daughter and your life after having them ripped from your arms. My "post-angel wings" life now is nothing like it was when Jaime was alive. As I said, I'm in free fall.

Ten years has been an agonizingly long time to be without my child and best friend ... honestly, much longer than I ever hoped I would be separated from her ... and at the same time, it seems like it was just yesterday that she came through the front door yelling "Mom." Jaime was always the center of attention and I was her shadow. Now I am just a shadow looking for its missing object.

That doesn't mean that my life has no meaning or direction. I still have a husband and 2 sons that I love with all my heart, but my direction has only come from a little voice whispering in my ear, giving me passion and commitment to fight the tanning beds that took my baby girl.

One thing I have learned in the past 10 years is that life is not fair. Growing up, my mom always would tell me that because I was such a bleeding heart. But now that I'm here and Jaime is not, I do believe that my mom was right. It's really not fair -- not fair at all! And don't assume that because you have gone through the unthinkable, nothing else bad will happen. You think you have paid your dues, but life just keeps happening.

Then there is the tremendous guilt. She was my child and I should have
been able to protect her. I should have been able to fix her. I've always been a fixer, but not this time. Why not this time? Then there was the guilt that I was not the same wife I had been before Jaime's death, and not the same mother. I realized how badly my family wanted me to be the same ... but that Donna was no longer here. She had died with Jaime. The guilt has been suffocating!

For the first couple years I had a never-ending loop running in my head of all the events leading up to Jaime's death. All the second guessing; all the what ifs; all the searching for answers when I wasn't even sure what the questions were ... playing it over & over & over. I finally came to realize that no matter what I had done or hadn't done, the final result would be the same. And as weird as it sounds, I haven't worn a watch or carried a purse since the day Jaime died and I have no idea why that is. I've just learned to accept that not everything has an answer, at least not one I understand.

At the beginning of my grief, I heard all the comments from people who mean well but just don't know what to say -- "she's in a better place," "it was God's plan," "at least she is free of pain," "I understand your pain because my grandmother died," etc. FYI: The best thing you can say to a grieving mom is "I'm sorry," "I love you," " He/she (and use their name!) will never be forgotten," or a story about the son or daughter, or even just a hug.

It was 3 years before I could look at Jaime's photos. And then it was not because I wanted to but because I was forced to as part of the video presentation on tanning beds that I had agreed to do. It was so very painful to dig through all the pictures from a better time, a happy time, but I did so with a lot of tears. The nightmarish memories from Jaime's death were just beginning to let the happy memories of her life come forward.

Somewhere along the way, I learned to recognize the warning signs that I was sliding into that deep dark hole of extreme grief and despair (you angel moms all know the place I am talking about) and eventually gained the strength to not allow my mind to take me there. The climb out was extremely exhausting. If you haven't been there, it's not someplace you ever want to visit.

It took me several years to feel comfortable about going out socially. Small talk scared the crap out of me. The question I feared most was the pleasant, simple "How many children do you have?" And if I got through that one without breaking down, there was usually the innocent follow-up "And where do they live?" I was also aware that people who knew about Jaime's death felt uncomfortable around me, like I had a contagious disease, and they were afraid of doing or saying something to cause me pain. Let me assure you that I was already in more pain than you can imagine. You couldn't make it any worse -- unless you tried to ignore or avoid it.

About 5 years after Jaime's death, I began to smile again and really mean it. It would be almost 10 years before I would hear myself laugh -- not a tears-running-down-your-face, pee-running-down-your-leg laugh like Jaime could provoke, but it was a laugh. And it was such a strange sound coming from me after so long that it actually startled me!

Ten years out and I can finally tell Jaime's story without sobbing ... at least some of the time. I don't think it will get much better, but I will not stop talking about how her use of tanning beds took her life at 29 because the killing has got to stop. Melanoma is a cancer that, in many cases, can be prevented ... and it must be prevented. I have a mission. I did not choose it but I have it. Some of the time I don't even like it but I have it. And I will continue on that mission until that little voice in my ear leads me in a different direction.




Ten years out ... and I can't tell you everything is fine or back to normal (whatever that is) or that the road of grief is behind me. I still find it hard to imagine that she is really dead. But I can tell you that, even after 10 years, Jaime hasn't left my heart or my side. I may be in free fall, but she is right there with me. That I do know.



Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Dare to Dream

Last Friday was just a normal Friday ... or as normal as the Friday before Christmas could be ... until I received a notice from the FDA of a HUGE, earth-shattering announcement. They were proposing a ban against tanning bed use for all minors under 18 in the US! I had heard through the grapevine that this ban was coming, but I didn't know when. And I wasn't holding my breath because I'd been holding it for too many years already. Then suddenly, last Friday became AMAZING! The planets had aligned!!

It was almost 6 years ago that presentations were made at a FDA hearing on the issue of teens and tanning beds. One of my friends from the melanoma community gave this presentation that included Jaime's story. 


Her presentation was one of many that shared stories about how tanning beds had changed or destroyed young lives. The hearings seemed promising ... but then the waiting game began. If you know me, you know that I am not a patient person, so ...

In the meantime, my attention turned to state legislation when Texas introduced a bill to restrict children under 16 from using tanning beds. Even though it wasn't the under-18 bill that I was dreaming of (and many thought it was just a foolish pipe dream!), it was a step in the right direction. With help from Jaime's story, it passed, which was surprising for such a conservative state. (And eventually, a full under-18 tanning bed ban would pass as well!)

Others began to share my seemingly impossible dream of an under-18 ban in every state. I'm not sure I even really believed that it was possible ... but I was being pushed ahead by some energy and force that insisted I just keep going. (Thank you, Miss J!) Then along came AIM at Melanoma, working on an under 18 tan ban in California, and I was hooked! Although it was far from easy, it passed! Twelve other states would follow to pass under-18 tan ban laws, but for years many more tried and failed. I am proud, along with Jaime and many, many others, to have been part of most of these difficult battles, but my dream was that all 50 states would pass these laws to protect their children by keeping them out of tanning beds ... and there was a long way to go.

Then just as my energy was draining and my dream was dimming, last year the FDA renewed its focus on under-18 use of tanning beds. It announced a strong recommendation against the use of UV devices by all minors. Many of us thanked them, but also let them know that it just wasn't enough.

And that led to Friday's announcement. Now there will be a 90-day period to respond to their proposal, and assuming it will be adopted ... that will put it becoming official just about on the 9th anniversary of Jaime's death!

The stories of all the melanoma victims whose cancer was brought on by tanning bed use have been heard, including my Jaime's. The years of hard work by thousands of supporters for this teen tan ban are FINALLY bearing fruit. Many lives will be saved!! I am proud to have played a role in this, and my sincere thanks go out to everyone who contributed to making this happen, to those who dared to dream.



But wait ... we're not done yet with the indoor tanning industry! Visit and "like" our Facebook group Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds to keep updated regarding our continuing efforts. Now that we have seen the impossible become possible, there is no dream too big!!


Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Friday, May 29, 2015

Birth of an Anti-Tanning Bed Grassroots Movement

Previously published on May 21, 2015, at http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/




Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.



My Jaime's story gave me the passion and conviction to become "the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare." The day after Jaime's funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.

 

I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed ... but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime's story for both of these laws.



As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety ... but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.



It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost
1,900 members [in 2021, close to 4,100]. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that "glow" for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.


There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons' Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising "self-harm," which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.



Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 [now 300+] colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. [Dr. Sherry Pagoto, who did the original research on this topic for the University of Massachusetts, is providing guidance.] We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.



Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!



Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

Twitter: @melanoma_mama
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)

http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
Ebay: http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf
Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Labors of Love

Labor Day ... marks the unofficial end of summer (but no excuse to stop using your sunscreen!) and the welcoming of the Fall season. Not only is it celebrated with cookouts and a 3-day holiday but tons of sales, sales, and more sales! According to Wikipedia, Labor Day "is a celebration of the American labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of workers."

Okay, so we have a holiday to pay tribute to the American workforce and economic achievement, and don't get me wrong, working for a wage and being financially stable is important ... but does everything have to be about making a buck? What about a long weekend designated to celebrate  "labors of love"?

I define labors of love as meaningful actions that you do with no financial compensation, and we could come up with a long list of those. Giving birth (the true meaning of LABOR), raising a family, being a loving and patient caregiver to an elderly parent or a loved one with illness, adopting a pet, volunteering ... all extremely important although none makes us wealthy.

We have probably all performed many labors of love throughout our lives, but there is still time to do so much more ... and so much more is needed.

There are small labors of love that are simply random acts of kindness that we all should remember to do ... smile at a stranger, say thank you to a store clerk, call or send a card to someone who would be cheered by just knowing you are thinking of them, take a meal to someone who is sick or grieving, hand a cold bottle of water (in summer heat) or a cup of hot chocolate (in winter cold) to your mailman, make a donation to your favorite charity. The possibilities are endless, and they truly make a difference to someone's day!

But I'm really thinking of larger labors of love that take more effort and time and commitment ... plan or participate in a fundraiser, donate blood, volunteer at a nursing home or hospital or school or animal shelter, become a coach for a kid's sports team or a leader for a scout troop, teach a Sunday school class. Get the idea?

I've always been a little (okay, a lot) obsessive about volunteering ... so much so that my efforts were acknowledged with the Volunteer of the Year award in my community of Plano, TX, many years ago. I didn't set out to be so involved in our schools and community; there's just so many wonderful projects that need (wo)manpower that I couldn't resist. Volunteering can be addictive!

When my only daughter Jaime died from melanoma 7 years ago, that following week I did what I swore I would never, ever do. I became a melanoma advocate and the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare. Watching her struggle with this evil disease, I had thought that once her fight was over, I never wanted to hear the word melanoma again. But over the 9 years of her journey with this cancer, it is what I had come to know and experience, and what I had come to hate ... and something I didn't want other families to have in their lives.

So melanoma advocacy has been my constant labor of love since my last labor of love as Jaime's caregiver ended. I didn't choose it; it chose me. Some think I do this to heal ... but if you have ever lost a child, you know that you can never heal, no matter what actions you take or don't take!

To be honest, I don't even particularly enjoy this labor of love that has attached itself to me, especially as I shed tears watching wonderful people die (too often young adults) and friends and families suffer on what seems like a daily basis. I question why I do what I do when I hear the lies and deception that comes out of the indoor tanning industry and sun worshipers. I scream when I hear the false reasoning of many state legislators regarding the protection of their youth from tanning bed use. I beat my head against the wall when I hear the excuses coming from schools about why the kids can't bring sunscreen to school or wear hats when outside. But this is MY labor of love so I keep doing it, hoping to make a small difference, ... and I will continue to do so until I am no longer able or until melanoma no longer exists.

But you have lots and lots of choices for your own labor of love. Don't worry about "what's in it for me," because what you get out of your labor of love will be so much greater than what you put in ... even if you can't take it to the bank.
 
Just pick something already, something you are passionate about or have a curiosity to learn more about. Maybe even step out of your comfort zone and try something challenging. You can't fail and many can benefit. Don't wait for a designated holiday ... make the effort to participate in a labor of love as often as you can!

 Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)