Stepping Back into the Fog

It is past time for a blog from me. I can feel it as if the page is nudging me. No problem, I think. Most of my blogs tend to write themselves. But now I put my fingers on the keyboard and get nothing. They just don't move.

I recognize this fog of grief. I don't want to but I do ... and I know it will take a while for it to lift and allow me to focus. You see, my mom died last week. Yes, she was almost 96 years old; yes, she had no idea who I was for the past 2 years; yes, her quality of life was nonexistent. Yes, it was time for her to go ... but the loss still hurts.

This foggy feeling is all too familiar from when my 29-year-old daughter Jaime died 8 years ago (although it seems like yesterday). Jaime was young with her whole life ahead of her, she suffered courageously for 5 years with end-stage melanoma, and she was fully aware that she was dying. It's not the same ... and yet it is.

Because here we are again ... left behind with the intense emptiness, the conflicting memories, the messiness of dealing with death, the missing link from our family chain. Another piece of my life, my past, my youth has been ripped from my grasp (see my blog There Goes Another Little Piece of My Life).


I know I am not alone in these feelings. Many loved my mom and are affected by her death. Not only our close family and friends, but over almost a century she touched a lot of people. My heart aches for their loss as well as mine.

Matter of fact, I'm sure everyone reading this has experienced grief, and we all deal with it in different ways ... but we all must deal with it. It can't be avoided ... it can't be ignored. We grieve because we have loved.

Death is part of life, but as part of the melanoma community, I see death visiting our group way too often. I see their pain, I know their pain, I feel their pain ... but it is their pain. Now this is mine once again ... and I don't like it.
 
This treasured photo is from around 1979. Three generations: my mom, my daughter Jaime, and me! There were three of us then, but now I am the only one left. The two most important women in my life are now gone. It wasn't supposed to be like this ... it is not the way I planned it.
 
My life has been changed once again, and I don't like change. I am angry that I am once again forced to walk this path of mourning. I don't want to because I know what lies ahead on this long journey, but I also am aware that I have no choice. The good thing is that I know I can do it ... and so I will.

But right now, I am fragile, not broken, just fragile. My thoughts are scattered and don't want to leap onto a blog page. My fingers don't want to move, and my brain is resisting every effort to find the right words.

So I ask that you be patient as the fog clears because I have lots of future blogs to write ... I just have to find them ... and me ... again.

Rest in peace now, Mildred Jane Fox Helm (Sept 26, 1919 - July 7, 2015) ... Mother, Nama, Jane, Millie, or Blondie. You will be always be loved and missed by many! Thank you for giving us 95 years ... and forgive me for my selfishness in wishing there were more! I love you, Mom!!

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Birth of an Anti-Tanning Bed Grassroots Movement

Previously published on May 21, 2015, at http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.

My Jaime's story gave me the passion and conviction to become "the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare." The day after Jaime's funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.

 

I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed ... but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime's story for both of these laws.

As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety ... but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.

It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost

1,900 members [in 2021, close to 4,100]. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that "glow" for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.

There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons' Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising "self-harm," which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.

Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 [now 300+] colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. [Dr. Sherry Pagoto, who did the original research on this topic for the University of Massachusetts, is providing guidance.] We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.

Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

Twitter: @melanoma_mama
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)

http://www.facebook.com/BanTheBeds (Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds)
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
Ebay: http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Eight years ago, my daughter Jaime died from melanoma, which the doctors believed was from her use of tanning beds in high school and college. She was diagnosed when she was 20 and fought the evil beast of a disease until her death at 29.
My Jaime’s story gave me the passion and conviction to become “the indoor tanning industry’s worst nightmare.” The day after Jaime’s funeral I began going after the indoor tanning industry and their lies and deception. I drew their wrath by commenting on magazine and newspaper articles on the internet about the dangers of tanning beds (see http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-paid-to-go-undercover-for-the-tanning-industry-122). Social media was in its infancy; Facebook and Twitter had not yet been born.
I also contacted my state legislators about writing a bill to ban teens from using tanning beds but I was ignored, and it would take several years before the Texas legislature would have such a bill introduced and passed … but it did. Two of them in fact. The first one was weak, but the one that followed was a full under 18 ban, and I testified with Jaime’s story for both of these laws.
As Facebook grew and melanoma patients found each other, many groups were formed. There were groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, groups for survivors, groups for support, groups for mothers of melanoma patients, groups for care-givers, groups for individual melanoma journeys, groups for fundraising, groups for ocular melanoma, groups for pediatric melanoma, groups for research, groups for grief & remembrance, groups for advocacy, groups for sun safety … but I recognized there was a void. There was no group or page devoted entirely to the dangers of tanning beds. So Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds was created.
It has been up and running for about 5 months, and now has almost 1,900 members. January was designated Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month since it is the beginning of the peak tanning bed use time for teens wanting that “glow” for Prom and Spring Break. The page has provided photos and information regarding tanning bed risks that have been shared across Facebook and Twitter.
There have also been numerous activities that the members could participate in, and many have done so. These include contacting fitness centers to ask about whether they provide tanning beds at their center and attempting to educate them to the contradiction between promoting a healthy lifestyle and offering cancer in the form of tanning. We have also tried to educate the customers of tanning salons through the salons’ Facebook pages and to identify any false advertising and notify the FTC. Another project is to make Facebook aware that tanning salons with Facebook pages are advertising “self-harm,” which is something that Facebook has a policy against. And our members are kept up to date on the latest legislation in all states.
Our largest project has been writing letters/emails/Facebook messages and posts/tweets to over 200 colleges and universities in the US, asking whether they have tanning beds on campus or in off-campus housing and whether tanning salons are merchants in their college cash card programs. AIM at Melanoma was kind enough to draft up a letter for our use. We have received over 40 replies, with most stating their tan-free campus policy. Some, like Michigan State, are reviewing their criteria for selecting merchants for the student cash card program or for their discount program. Our message is being heard; colleges now know that concerned people are watching them. They cannot continue to promote, or even be perceived to promote, risky behavior in their students by making tanning beds more easily accessible.
Every day new projects that pertain to tanning beds come to our attention, and there is something in our group for everyone who wants to Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds. I hope to see you there!
- See more at: http://www.disruptivewomen.net/2015/05/21/birth-of-the-pull-the-plug-on-tanning-beds/#sthash.J3JLflVi.dpuf

Road to Destruction ... of Tanning Beds

It's no secret ... I've been waging a war against the indoor tanning industry for many years now, ever since my daughter Jaime died at age 29 from melanoma brought on by years of tanning bed use in high school and college. How did that war begin, you ask? Read on ...

It started out as a very bumpy, winding road. The week we buried Jaime,

I began writing letters to newspapers about the dangers of tanning beds and contacted my state legislators about introducing legislation that would restrict minors' use of these killers (but to no avail). I had the passion, I had the time, I had the story, and I had the anger.

Don't get me wrong. I was not looking for something to blame for Jaime's death. She would often say, "I did this to myself." And she did. Her melanoma (although not everyone's) could have been prevented if she hadn't had an obsession to turn her very pale skin into a shade more similar to cafe au lait. So I don't blame the tanning industry for this horrific hole in my heart ... but they are partly responsible by providing a harmful product.

When Jaime was using tanning beds, no one really knew how dangerous (and deadly) they were. The Center for Disease Control now says, "Tanning beds are one of the few industries whose product, if used as the manufacturer intends, puts the user at risk of harm." I won't get into the dangers of tanning bed use here because you can read about that in my other blogs, particularly Spring: The Teen Tanning Season.

Suddenly, the road took a different turn. Because I was so vocal on the risks of tanning beds (and this was when Facebook was just in its infancy), the American Academy of Dermatology asked me to make a Public Service Announcement video based on Jaime's story. This was when the Academy and I had a good working relationship, prior to their failed insensitive attempt to change melanoma's awareness ribbon from black to orange. Read Social Media and the Black Ribbon and Promises Made Are Not Necessarily Promises Kept for more on that story.

Following that, I was apparently targeted by the indoor tanning industry in a sting operation that failed, but I only learned of this recently: I Was A Paid Shill for the Tanning Industry. I was getting under their over-baked skin and had struck a nerve, it seems!

Jaime's story, along with that of many other tanning bed victims, has been used to pass under 18 teen tan ban bills in many states, including our home state of Texas (first for an under 16 ban and finally, with my testimony in both House and Senate committees, for an under 18 ban).  The only bad part is that because of all my correspondence with state senators and representatives across the country about tanning bed legislation, I am now on ALL of their newsletters ... thousands of newsletters!

You will often see my posts in the comments sections of online newspaper & magazine articles. I have been told by the opposition that Jaime never had skin cancer or that Jaime is just a figment of my overactive imagination. Really??? Do they think their lies and personal attacks will make me stop? No, they just motivate me even more!

Jaime's story of tanning bed use and melanoma has been told in newspapers, magazines, TV news, and online for over 15 years now. Actually, one newspaper did decide not to print our interview because the reporter thought Jaime's story was too well known (OLD news) ... that was just a seldom-read little tabloid called the New York Times! Others have also stepped forward to tell their stories of tanning bed use and abuse. I hope it is all making a difference. Whether it is or not, I'm not done trying!

Her story was one presented many years ago at hearings of an FDA panel for tighter restriction of tanning beds, and recently we have seen them act on those recommendations. With the US Surgeon General joining our cries against tanning beds, the road to destruction of tanning beds is getting smoother and straighter, soon to be a superhighway!

For years I have watched as the Facebook melanoma community found each other and then broke away into smaller, more specific groups -- for support, for sun safety, for melanoma, for skin cancer -- but nothing solely for indoor tanning. So last December I started the group Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds, which now has over 1,860 like-minds [over 3,600 in 2018] who want to create awareness about the pain and suffering that tanning beds create. The story of what I have discovered through Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds will be my next blog [see Birth of an Anti-Tanning Bed Grassroots Movement].

Many years ago I proclaimed myself to be the indoor tanning industry's worst nightmare, and I believe that I have lived up to that title. The bad news is that there is so much more work to be done, and the more I dig into this industry, the more dirt I find. The good news is, however, that I have found more friends who are also royal pains in the tanning industry's butt ... and together we are getting even LOUDER!!

Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Happy 1st Blogiversary to Me!

 My entry into the Blogisphere occurred 1 year ago today with the labor and delivery of my first blog! So Happy Blogiversary to me!

I want to thank each of you for taking the time to read each blog and sometimes leaving comments. It has been quite an adventure, and I'm glad you all traveled this journey with me. 

Some blogs were written with tears; others took on a life of their own. Some stories made the long trip back through memory lane; others were full of more information than you ever wanted to know about melanoma and tanning. I have shared stories that, until that blog, had been held close to my heart and never shared before. You have also seen my sometimes quirky sense of humor and my usual snarky sarcasm. I've earned search key words that I can't print here because they are pornographic in nature; I have gathered readers from all over the world, especially South Africa.

There are many more blogs waiting to be told, but for now, every ounce of my time and energy is being squeezed into getting my newest Facebook page, Pull the Plug on Tanning Beds, up and running. I realized a void in the Facebook groups. There are groups for skin cancer or melanoma in general, for support, for sun safety, for remembrance, for advocacy, for combinations of all aspects of melanoma ... but nothing specifically and solely addressing the dangers of tanning beds. 

So Pull the Plug was born, and January, the beginning of the teen indoor tanning season, was designated as Tanning Bed Dangers Awareness Month. My goal was to blanket the social media with information about the risks of using these death beds ... and I think, thanks to its more than 1,300 members and growing, we have accomplished that goal and more. 

Along with spreading awareness, we have been contacting colleges and universities about tanning beds on and off their campuses and about making risky behavior more convenient to their students by including tanning salons in their cash card programs. We have battled with tanning salons and their false advertising on Facebook. We are contacting fitness centers about including free cancer with their membership by having tanning beds. And much, much more.

All this will continue beyond January ... actually, until either I or tanning beds are obsolete! So if you haven't joined us yet on Pull the Plug and you care about the damage being done by these cancer machines, please consider this your invite.

But back to the celebration for now! One year of blogs behind me and a new blank page just waiting to be filled. I hope you enjoyed reading my blogs and took something good away ... more information, a different point of view, a smile, an understanding ... and I hope you will continue to follow me. Thank you again!

 

 Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)



http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Tears in the Turkey

The holidays are upon us ... as we are constantly reminded through TV, radio, magazines, newspapers, store decorations, and the internet ... and they can be a very depressing time for many.

This year it seems that we jumped straight from Halloween into Christmas, with Thanksgiving being ignored ... or straight from "give me candy" to "give me presents" and bypassing the "giving thanks" part! Sadly it makes sense because Christmas and Halloween are retail driven, whereas with Thanksgiving, not so much unless you are a turkey farmer!

But Thanksgiving will happen. It is a warm and fuzzy (and yummy) family-focused holiday that is wonderful for those with families who can gather together for the celebration. However, we should not forget that this is not easy or possible for many, and the feelings that go along with that can be extremely complex.

Some come from a different culture in which Thanksgiving is not a part of their holidays, and they may feel left out. Some people have no families so a holiday with so much emphasis on family could certainly leave them feeling depressed and isolated. Some families are scattered far apart, and because of finances, health, time, or any other number of reasons cannot be together and they may feel sad, lonely, and even guilt-ridden. I feel their pain; they are not alone!

Some families have members who are on the other side of the world serving our country and perhaps in harm's way, so the holiday might make them miss those loved ones even more. Some will have to work on Thanksgiving and unable to share the holiday with family, and they may question if their sacrifice is appreciated. Others might have no job and no money to prepare a fest, and they may be concerned over how they will feed their family over the coming weeks and months. I feel their pain; they are not alone!

Some will be celebrating their first Thanksgiving, and I actually missed Thanksgiving with my family one year when I was in the hospital delivering my second son Tim. And sadly, some will be celebrating their last.

Some might be ill and have no energy to join the family in the celebration; they shouldn't feel guilty, but they probably will. Some families only have the strength to sit at the bedside of a frail and dying family member, with no interest in cooking or even eating a holiday meal because they are physically and emotionally drained. Some families will be grieving the loss of a loved one, and the empty chair at the Thanksgiving table will be too much for them to bear. Their hearts will be shattered all over again. I feel their pain; they are not alone!

So while you are enjoying the warmth and love of your family turkey dinner and contemplating all you have to be thankful for, remember that others may be having a difficult time just getting through the holidays. Open your hearts and let them know that they are not alone. Not everyone's Thanksgiving will look like the pictures on greeting cards!

Happy Thanksgiving!


Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Pink Sisters, I Feel Your Pain

Did you know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month? If not, you must live under a rock! We are constantly reminded of this by the sea of pink surrounding us. Some of us call it Pinktober because of the pink obsessiveness; I have even heard breast cancer patients call it "Puketober."

While the other cancer communities (like my melanoma community) drool at the amount of awareness and recognition all this pinkness brings to breast cancer, many in their community believe that the pink campaign is excessive and not delivering the right message. A giant case of be careful what you wish for ...

And I get it. All the pink ribbons have not given the breast cancer patients a cure; they have not given advanced stage breast cancer patients much in the way of hope. Don't get me wrong. Awareness is great, but I think there is a saturation point ... and in my opinion, it has been breached!

As I discussed in my blog "Pinktober," businesses are profiting from Pinktober more than breast cancer patients ... and there is definitely something wrong with that picture. But it goes further than that. There are campaigns to save the boobies, save the hooters, save the ta-tas ... but what about saving the men and women who have breast cancer.  Sexualizing a cancer will not cure it.

Unfortunately the breast cancer community is struggling with playful pink as their awareness color and brand as well as all the fun and games supposedly created for awareness. Decorating bras might be a fun thing to do, but probably not a great reminder to those who no longer have a need for bras. We all know, or at least we should, that there is nothing fun or playful or party-like about any cancer. It trivializes those fighting for their lives and disrespects those whose lives have been lost ... and it sure doesn't cure cancer!

This video points out how out of control Pinktober has become:


In the melanoma community, we understand too well what the breast cancer community is feeling as far as having their cancer trivialized. We have heard way too many times -- "Melanoma? Oh, that's just skin cancer. Cut it out and you'll be fine." And perhaps you remember back a couple years when the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) tried to turn melanoma's awareness color of black to orange. Black was too depressing, they thought ... NEWSFLASH, melanoma IS depressing! They wanted something more bright and cheerful and attention-getting (like the sun that caused many of the cases of melanoma???).

For Melanoma Monday, a day reserved not only for spreading awareness but also for honoring melanoma warriors and remembering our fallen, the AAD encouraged dermatologists and their staff to wear orange and throw parties, with orange cupcakes, confetti, and streamers. Can you imagine being given a life-threatening melanoma diagnosis in the midst of such a party or by a doctor blowing orange party favors?


So, I understand what it is like to have a cancer presented as less evil than it really is, especially one that has severely impacted your life and broken your heart. The marketing people who come up with these ideas of fun and playful awareness obviously have never held a loved one with cancer in their arms while they took their last breath. Their approach is thoughtless and insensitive and, sadly, ... it doesn't cure the cancer!!

Many in the breast cancer community and beyond will be grateful to see November push out Pinktober because it has gone too far! The need for breast cancer awareness has passed, and the pink ribbon has now ventured into commercialization. And to make matters even worse, breast cancer patients feel their cancer is being trivialized and sexualized. The pink has gone amuck ... and does all this really help in the search for the cure?


 Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)

Pinktober: The New October

It's October, and Fall is in the air in many areas of the country (although it is still Summer in my neck of the woods, Texas). Autumn is starting to strut its color palette of the turning leaves: golds, oranges, reds, browns. Mother Nature is showing off her breath-taking display ... but it is being obscured by pinkwashing. Cool, feminine, and flirty pink has become a man-made intrusion into the warm, rich colors of Fall.

This used to be October ...

and now it looks like this ...

and this!!

This explosion of pink has actually taken over the month of October, all in the name of breast cancer awareness. It has gotten so in-your-face obnoxious that October is now called "Pinktober" by many both in and out of the breast cancer community. But more on that later ...

First join me as I ponder over the timing of this pinkness. It is interesting to me that the color pink, a very Spring-ish pastel color, is so prevalent in the Fall. Wonder what the thinking was on that? Isn't it curious that a cancer using pink as its awareness color doesn't have March or April as its special awareness month? Do you think the fact that football is a Fall sport and perhaps needed to

be spiced up with lots of pink accessories was part of the decision-making on that? If the powers-that-be wanted October as their awareness month, why didn't they select a typical Fall color ... like orange? Marketing companies get paid big bucks to figure out these things ... but the logic just isn't there for me. Not that any of this matters; it is just one of those things rattling around in my brain looking for answers. Thanks for indulging me!

Now getting back to Pinktober, it is no secret that I am not a fan. But please don't just call me a hater and dismiss me. I don't hate breasts (I actually have a couple of those myself); I don't hate pink (it was my daughter Jaime's favorite color but not so much mine) ... but I DO hate cancer (and melanoma, the cancer that killed my Jaime, in particular)! I DO support breast cancer awareness and research. I was one of the founding members of the Susan G. Komen chapter in our county about 30 years ago. I have lost too many friends and family members to this disease, and I actually, because of a pre-breast cancer condition diagnosed earlier this year, have my own breast cancer surgeon whom I visit often. [Update 2022: I am now also a Stage 1 breast cancer patient.]

But enough is enough already with the pink!! Pink is everywhere ... from trash cans to PF Chang horse statues ... even drill bits used for fracking. Pink ribbons adorn almost every product on store shelves. You don't have to look hard in the Hunt for the PINK OCTOBER! If you love pink, you are in pink cotton-candy heaven. But for some of us, it just makes us feel like we are drowning in a sea of Pepto-Bismal!

Is this crazy pinkness doing its job to raise breast cancer awareness? Better question: Is there anyone out there who already isn't aware of breast cancer? And an even better question: How many lives are being saved by this awareness campaign? Is it raising funding for research? Possibly, but not near what it should be. Most likely it is raising money for the businesses that advertise the pinkness. Pink has become a commercial honey pot!

Buying your drink in a pink cup may make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but that is probably all it will do. My guess is that businesses are jumping on the pink bandwagon to capture your business and not because of their strong desire to cure breast cancer. Unfortunately, most consumers are not aware that there are no regulations on which products can advertise with the pink ribbon ... even products not remotely connected to cancer or that contain chemicals that research has shown possibly cause breast cancer. Now in defense of cat litter, read my blog From Litterbox to Laboratory!

And what about all the other cancers, many you have probably not even heard of? What about awareness and research funding for those? Shouldn't we be concerned about ALL cancers ... about finding a cure for ALL cancers and not just the pink one?

Today I saw an ad for Swarovski crystals, stating that for this month a donation would be given to a breast cancer foundation based on all pink crystals sold. Before Jaime died, she designed and created awareness bracelets for all cancers using Swarovski crystals. I have continued to make them in her honor so I am aware of the different colors used for different cancers. I have never seen donations made for buying gold crystals for childhood cancer in September or black crystals for melanoma in May, etc. ... just pink in October.

My point? There are more colors than pink, and there are more cancers than breast cancer. Everyone is so fixated on breasts ... but what about colons, lungs, livers, thyroids, brains, skin? Last I checked there is no cure for any of these cancers once they have reached an advanced stage. As a melanoma advocate, I admit to being biased and even a bit (okay, a lot!) jealous of all the attention and funding that breast cancer gets, but recently, to be quite honest, the pinkness has become overwhelming and its results questionable.

And why the focus on breasts instead of on the lives of those who have the

breasts? Decorating bras may be fun, but it must be hurtful to those who no longer have a need for bras. But that is another blog for another day ...




Melanoma Mama (Jaime's mom, Donna)

http://www.facebook.com/donna.h.regen
http://www.facebook.com/jaime.regen.rea (Remember Jaime)
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)
http://stores.ebay.com/Sweetpea321 (Jjem Creations)